About Me

I am Kim and welcome to In Search of Me in Mommy!

I am a 40 year old stay at home mother of two boys (ages 5 and 6). In the past 10 years, my life has changed quite a bit. Since 2000, I met my husband, (after years of random dates and many dating droughts), got married, had two children in 14 months, quit my career to be a stay at home with my children, moved three times, and amidst it all, I lost a bit of myself.

Initially I didn't realize that I was lost. I had everything I ever wanted - a wonderful (most of the time) husband, two children that were healthy and happy (again, most of the time) and I felt lucky (you guessed it – most of the time) to be able to stay at home. And this is what I want, but somewhere in between night feedings and preschool registration I changed – my conversations were not the same, my interests altered, friendships were different, and my days were unlike ones before children. Early on, I had no time to mourn the loss of my previous life or to contemplate how motherhood would change me and the person I am. But, as the boys started preschool, I began to feel the urge to figure out “what is next” for me. In trying to answer this question, I realized that I don’t really know myself anymore. The dreams, goals, and aspirations that I had prior to motherhood, feel a bit like square pegs in round holes.

Before staying home with my boys, I worked for twelve years at various colleges and universities in Residence Life and Student Life Departments. I truly value education and loved my undergraduate experience where I received a BA in Individual and Family Studies. After graduating from college I went on to pursue my master degree in Higher Education Administration. I really liked working with college student and treasured my experiences and my friendships with co-workers and former students - but in my heart, I always knew that my "calling" was to be a mom.

Now that I am a mom, I am realizing that the visions that I had about motherhood is very different than the reality. There are many ups, downs, twists, turns, and unexpected loops. I strongly believe in being honest and open about the challenges of motherhood - sometimes, just sharing those "horrible" thoughts and feelings I have about my children or about being a mom, takes away the associated guilt and shame, because I find I am not alone and that other moms - good moms - understand exactly what I mean.

So, this blog is my space to share my journey - my purposeful journey - of motherhood and me. A place to openly and honesty explore who I am, how I have changed, and where I am going. I am, proudly, a mother and a wife, yet somewhere, lost in those roles, is me. I am on a search of me within the chaos of motherhood.


Natalie Catherine said...

came to you through the blog party!! what a great post.. thanks for being so honest and open in sharing your journey with us! you sound lovely!

Rona's Home Page said...

Love your blog and really enjoyed my visit.
I think this is my 3rd year. Not sure but really enjoy meeting new bloggers.
Great prizes this year! I hope you win one..or two.
I was late too but fashionable late for the UBP 2010.

Mommy Moment said...

I am stopping by for your PARTY! Glad you linked up!
Thanks for sharing your journey to motherhood!
I hope you will stop by our blog for a Mommy Moment - take a moment, you deserve it!


Bree said...

Ah, I think we lose some parts of ourselves and gain other parts that are a wonderful addition- but, it is nice when we are 'right' so are kids see us independent also- - enjoyed stopping in- www.breebee.com ubp10

NavyBride said...

Visiting your blog through UBP. Love your post. I think all mommies go through this at some point. Good luck in your search for finding that bit of yourself.

nicole lindsay said...

Joining you from UBP!
I feel the same way, trying to find the me in mommy also!

Kristen said...

Stopping in from the UBP! It's nice to 'meet' you! I think so many times we all lose a bit of ourselves...and find it again later. Sometimes it's evolved...sometimes it is someone we lost long ago and comes back, only better!

Janene said...

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Tracey C. said...

Ah, well, nice to meet you! And may I say, I totally get it. I have 3 girls 10 and under. It can be hard to be honest about the trials of Mothering when so many other Mothers don't seem to feel "lost" or even distracted! :) I know it is a process and you are brave to approach it! I like your blog.

If you want to stop by my frugal blog and enter my goodie box giveaway...Tons of goodies worth over $50!

Cheryl D. said...

HI! I'm visiting via the UBP! I just love to party! You have a nice blog!

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