Great thought...

Be kind to your shadow.

~Rebecca Lawless

Average-ness

Right now I am struggling with my average-ness.

According to Yahoo Thesaurus Average means...

"Being of no special quality or type: common, commonplace, cut-and-dried, formulaic, garden, garden-variety, indifferent, mediocre, ordinary, plain, routine, run-of-the-mill, standard, stock, undistinguished, unexceptional, unremarkable."

When I was growing up I seemed, well, average. 

• I graduated smack-dab in the middle of my graduating class - a solid C or C+ student. 
• I wasn't popular - but I had friends and was likable enough.
• I didn't excel at anything in particular...I tried out for track, but instead of running, I was asked to be the team manager.  I was on flagline, but not a captain.  I played the musical instruments, but was in concert band, not symphonic.
• I wasn't in honors classes - but I did not have to take remedial courses... (I could go on...)

And I embraced my average-ness.  I became good finding my place somewhere in the middle - in between the wondrous shining stars and the in-different f-ups of the world.  I feel comfortable being behind the scenes, and am skilled at blending into the background.  When faced with a situation when I need to be in the spotlight, I manage and am successful, but feel relieved when the heat of the light is gone.  I know enough about a lot, but not too much to be an "expert" about anything. 

Because I defined myself as average.

I'm not so sure if I want to embrace my average-ness anymore.  I think, perhaps, I am hiding behind it.  And, that it is holding me back from more. 

But, you know what?  ...It seems to be so ingrained in who I am, that I feel completely, utterly, clueless about how to proceed. 

So, I guess, for now, I'll just take the time to live in and experience this place - the space between the realization of a flawed definition of self and the revealing of a new me.

Half Marathon Training - Week 2 & Race Day Jitters

Training this past week, actually, went pretty well.  I logged 12 miles including a race yesterday - the CIC Run/Walk for Humanity.  It was a 3 mile race on Catawba Island - which is in Ohio on Lake Erie.   It was a windy day, but the temperature was in the low 70's, so between the weather, the boats, the views of Lake Erie, and the beautiful houses, it turned out to be a fun run.  I ended up finishing around 37:30 - which, considering I ran/walked it, I was pleased.  My husband also ran...and he kicked some major butt, finishing in just over 24 minutes.

Since yesterday, I have been thinking a lot about race day jitters. Or, perhaps a better term, for me, would be "race day loonies!"  I am absolutely no fun to be around within an hour or so before a race (just ask my husband...).  The morning of the race, I was hopeful that it would be cancelled (since we had horrific thunderstorms and tornado warnings earlier that morning), and when I realized that the race was "on", my stomach got queasy, I got crabby, and well...I had a bit of the runs.  It was not pleasant.  As my poor husband and I walked to the race starting area, I whined, moaned, and groaned about my stomach, the port-a-potty, the wind, the ten drops of rain that hit me, and everything else I could think of.   As the starting time got closer, I predicted that I would be the last runner to finish and complained about feeling fat, and out-of-shape.  I looked around and saw all these athletes, and in my head I heard the tune, "One of these things, is not like the others.  One of these thing just doesn't belong." and I thought, "What in the HELL am I doing here?"

But, since I have done a few races before and experienced these same feelings, I knew that all of "that" - those feelings and grumpiness - was simply anticipation and adrenaline and after about the first 100 feet of running, "that" would go away.  And, it did.

After the race, while my husband and I were cooling down, I said, "I need to figure out how to not be so crabby before a race."  To which my hubbie so kindly said "Yes. You. Do!"  And that made me consider that perhaps there is  better way to deal with the anticipation and adrenaline.  So this week, while training, I am going to think how I can make my "race day loonies", not so loony!

How do you deal with your race day jitters?

THE BIG REVEAL...LittleHandsArtwork.com

Yesterday I blogged about my harebrained idea...and I am SO excited for
today's BIG REVEAL of my new online business!

(drum roll please...)

Introducing...

 LittleHandsArtwork.com

Where your child's Artwork is the STAR!

Turn Your Child's Artwork Into:
• Notecards • Notepads • Greeting Cards • Postcards • Canvas Print Mosaic • Calendar(Coming Soon!)

And...here's the good news for you! 

All folks, who place an order by June 18, 2010 and mention
In Search of Me in Mommy receive

10% off!

Here is the story...

I am a stay at home mom of two preschool boys.  Each day after school, my boys are thrilled to show me their newest creations! I love to see all their artwork and we display the items proudly. If you have young ones like me, you know - while you love the artwork - it becomes overwhelming. I myself didn't know how to manage the piles of colorful, cumbersome, awkward shaped, painted, crayoned, cut, glued, and glittered goodness. Some of it was clearly harder to manage than others, but many pieces were way too adorable to just throw away! I wondered, without adding an art gallery onto our home,

how do I preserve, enjoy, and share all of their charming artwork?

So, one day I contemplated this conundrum, while sorting through their fancy creations and I came up with a brilliant idea (if I do say so myself)! I scanned and photographed some of my favorite pieces and made wonderful artwork note cards. This allowed me to better manage the mounds of "stuff" and provided perfect gifts for the boys’ grandparents, teachers, and others. The gifts were a huge hit! So, I thought that others might have the same challenge with their children’s "art-or-love" and might also be interested in turning their child's masterpieces into some wonderful gifts and keepsakes.

And, that is why I started LittleHandsArtwork.com

A Simple Wish...

My biggest wish, since becoming a mom, is relatively simple.  I have asked for it for my birthday, Christmas  and even Mothers Day for at least three years.  As each occasion passed without my wish granted, (sing with me) I kept on wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' that one day it would be mine!

But, just over a month ago I decided to take things into my own hands!  I realized that my one wish, did not need to be a gift - no, perhaps, with a little bit of money, I could make it happen. 

The only big obstacle...the green stuff, dinero, buckeronies, cha-ching.  And last I checked, SAHMs do not rake in the cash.  A dilemma, certainly, but overcome-able...Right? 

I considered getting a job - but I really enjoy being a SAHM and the whole childcare cost doesn't really lend its self to a part-time gig.  I also considered monetizing my blog - but I don't have many followers so that seemed unrealistic.  Then there's the street corner - but it's not really my thing, and there's that whole I-could-be-arrested factor, so that was out.  And, while I am still planning to write a book, I am guessing that a publisher is not willing to shell out an advance to an unknown, unpublished, wanna-be-author.  And since I want my wish to become a reality, sooner rather than later, that won't work either.

So...one day, while doing some important SAHM mom stuff (going through two, five foot high piles of preschool artwork, worksheets, and scribbled papers), I came up with a harebrained idea.  And, the more I thought about it, the more, I thought that maybe...possibly...perhaps...if I can make this crazy-idea work, then maybe...possibly...perhaps...I can make a few bucks. 

Plus, and even more important, I am so stinkin' excited about this lunatic idea that regardless of whether or not my wish comes true, I am determined to it see through!

So, while I am crossing my fingers for my simple I-want-a-cleaning-lady (or man - I wouldn't want to be sexist) wish to become a reality...

I am jumping up-and-down in anticipation, exhilaration, and excitement about sharing what my idea has developed into!

But...I can't, just yet.

Tomorrow...

Construction dreams...

Skid steer, bulldozer, and front-end loaders

Asphalt, dirt, and nasty odors

Blueprints, building plans, and engineering

Hard hats, gloves, plus reflective gearing

Construction sites I love to see,

Pass by one, I scream with glee.

I want to build and assemble stuff

Out of Lego's, blocks, even marshmallow fluff.

Building is a huge passion.

Knowing how-things-work is my fashion.

Some day I will grow to be

A big bad builder, guaranteed!

May in Review

I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!

As with every month, for me, reflecting back on the past month is incredibly helpful.  During May, I gained so much, including...

• Realizing that my language and mindset about motherhood is powerful!  I am not "just a mom" - I am a skilled, qualified woman who is a Mom - and motherhood has added to my skill set!
• Being reminded to about the importance of gratitude and taking the time to appreciate my world (here, here, here, and here).
• Becoming more sure of who I am and what I want to do (here).
• A bigger appreciation for YOU and your willingness to take the time to let me into a little piece of your world (here)!

Ready or not...June!!!

What did you learn in May?