Mom Anger

I have already confessed that one reason that brought me to this point is that I don’t like that I was becoming that mom – the screaming, yelling mom. So in one effort to figure out a different way of dealing with my children, I decided to take a parenting class. The class is every Monday night for 6 weeks and is based on principles from the Love and Logic Institute. According to loveandlogic.com “Love and Logic provides simple and easy to use techniques to help parents have more fun and less stress while raising responsible kids of all ages.” Last night I attended the second class and we discussed anger. Some thoughts about anger included:

• “Nobody can make you angry unless you allow them to.”
• “The person with the anger is the one with the problem.”
• “The person without the anger is the one in control.”

Hum…I truly believe in the premise of each of these statements, but I’m not sure in real life I practice or make the best use of these concepts. If I could get a dollar for every time I said screamed at my child “you are making me mad!” - I would be oh, so rich! But, in reality, I am allowing myself to get angry, and then my anger becomes the focus. And why wouldn’t it, since I’m sure I look ridiculous with steam coming out my ears and my face ablaze. To top it off, not only is the focus off of the real issue (their bad behavior), but then they have the control. Argh – I do this, really?  I suppose this is one of those wonderful “ah-ha moments”.

It’s given me a lot to think about and be aware of. Hopefully I’ll be able to incorporate some of the “simple and easy to use techniques” in to my response repertoire so the next time I feel the simmer within, the steam never even make it to my ears.