Me vs. Me

“The beginning of thought is in disagreement – not only with others but also with ourselves.”
-Eric Hoffer

Until I started this rediscovery of self, I never really thought about the disagreements that I have with myself. They are not loud arguments, or even heated discussions, but instead, and perhaps worse, unspoken, unacknowledged, and silently jarring internal conflicts. So after festering, this dissidence is probably the impetus of this journey.

Therefore, I thought it would be beneficial to identify some of my internal conflicts as well as what, I believe, would be the desired outcome to alleviate the dissidence.

Valuing diversity education and challenging others’ views

vs.

Feeling unsure of how to teach my children about differences.

I hope to learn more about how to teach about diversity issues to preschooler and be more deliberate in my conversations with my boys.

Believing that I am very introspective and feel like I have always had a good sense of myself

vs.

Feeling lost and confused when trying to figure out “what I want next for me”
I hope to have a vision, goal, direction.

My dream of being a wife and mom and I believing that, in those roles, I would be happy.

vs.

Not feeling happy (although, I also would not say I am unhappy) and overjoyed, instead feeling lost – yet I have a wonderful husband and children.

I hope to find a balance between being a wife and a mom and an individual.

I know that the “how” is missing – How to reach my desired outcome. But, just identifying those items, feels great!  I know that “how” will come over time.