Friday, February 25, 2011

Dear Fit Girl

Yesterday, I posted a letter to my Fat-Self, to my Fit-Self.  Today, my Fat-Self responds to the letter.

Dear Fit Girl Kim-
Please, back off! It is NOT helpful, in the least, when you tell me that you are disappointed and ashamed of me! Shaming me is not what I need and it is disrespectful. Please, be kinder to me.

Do you think I like to be me? No, I don’t! I did the best I could! Do you remember times when you were a quivering fearful anxious mess? Do you remember hiding and running away from the pain? I helped you get though tough times. Were my choices always the best? No, I know that they weren’t. I was just trying to survive with some semblance of togetherness. Yes, horrible habits were formed. I know that. But please – do not shame me now. Be patient with me. Habits are hard to break – especially when I only feel hatred from you.

It means the world to me that you have recognized how hard I tried to protect you. Thank you for acknowledging that. I feel appreciated and, yes, even loved! That is more helpful than you will ever know.

I am glad to see your strength and enthusiasm back. I feel your new “glow”. And, I welcome it. Trust me, I do! I want YOU to shine in the spotlight, as I do much better in a background supporting role. I never wanted to be on the stage. I was just a stand-in waiting for you. You are the star! I am thrilled that you are finding your way!

Carry on – I’m with you!

With love,
Fat Girl Kim

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