Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Past Revisited 2

Recently I pulled out my journals and reread them. I started journaling when I was a junior in college, which, *gasp* was almost 20 years ago. Reading about different moments in my past was incredibly enlightening. And, because I typically journaled when I was conflicted, I read about many life-altering moments. Often I would go to the journal to organize my thoughts, put together action steps and identify my goals and dreams. Other times, I simply groused about situations and issues. As I reread these entries, I learned quite a bit about how I became who I am today. Periodically, I plan to share things I have found and learned from delving into my past.

In my post, Past Revisited 1, I shared the first (entitled: Alone) of two poems that I wrote.  So today here is the second poem.


Lost.
Not knowing where
                   My Place
                   My Home
                   My Self
                                     Belongs.
Lost.

I wrote this after graduating from college.  I had just moved to the Chicago area and was living with my grandmother (who was in her 80's and coping with Alzheimers - which is whole other story) while I was figuring out whether to pursue graduate school, or find a job.  I was truly lost and confused.  Finding where I belonged was quite a process and it has only been in the last few years that this feeling subsided.  Currently, I am again feeling a lost - but not to the same degree that is reflected in this poem.  It's good have a feeling of belonging that I now have.

PAST REVISITED LESSON 2:  Life is a process.  The lessons we have learned, we continually revisit to gain confidence and further develop.

4 comments:

The Mommy said...

I think that blogging - writing your feelings down without caring whether anyone ELSE reads - is a great way to figure out and define for yourself who and what you are. I think this journey will be vastly interesting and I plan on following along.

Thanks for stopping by my place! I truly do blog for myself in order to have a record to refer to, but it is always - ALWAYS - nice to have a positive comment. I'll be back!

Eternal Lizdom said...

I caught wind of a stage show where people get up and read old diary entries- I believe it was called Mortified. It inspired me to dig out my old diaries from junior high and high school... Oh, the drama!! The writing got a little better in college- life was in the process, on the verge, of being settled down.

mama2lilev said...

I love your poem. I love reading past journals and taking look at where I was then and where I am now. Thanks for the inspiration to find my old journals and to read more poetry

Lady Mama said...

I wonder if there's ever a time in life where we don't feel lost, in some way or other? Nice poem.

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