Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Solitude and Bunnies

So way back in January, I was determined to lose weight and focus on my health and wellness. And, truly I was committed…for a while. And then I wasn’t, and then I was, wasn’t, was…and the cycle continued. I went on spurts with weeks of intense exercise and then there hiccups, and life stuff. So folks, what I am confessing is that I have not been as successful as I had hoped. The good news is that I did lose approximately seven pounds, and I haven’t gained that back. Also good, I have continued to weigh myself and I still believe that the scale is a friend – extremely honest, and at times forgiving. The bad news is that I do not believe, realistically, that I will achieve my goal of losing 40 pounds by my birthday (early August). And that has been weighing on me – a sense of failure that, like fog, has surrounded me, made me gloomy, moody and hard to be around. I have a hard time finding my way out of that fog. I’m not sure that it has lifted, but I think it might be starting to retreat.

On Easter Sunday, I was chatting with my brother-in-law about the running races he has done recently. He has completed a half marathon and is continuing to train for another. He looks good and feels great. I was reminded of my first 5k that I did back in April of 2007. For me, running and completing that race was huge! I had NEVER thought that running in a 5k was something that I could do, and I decided to prove myself wrong. And. I. Did! While I was training for that race, I lost weight, and felt awesome! I was in the best shape of my adult life!

Please note: I have stated time and time again since than, that “I really don’t like running” – I am not one of those people who is religious about their runs. When training, there were times that I would have to force myself to the gym and would be grousing about the thought of running during the entire drive. Some runs were wonderful and I felt great – other runs were hard and painful, mentally and physically. But, what I ALWAYS liked about running was that my workouts could be fast! I got better results in less time than when I had tried other activities. And, most of the time, I enjoyed the time alone – I could think about anything I wanted or about nothing at all. It was my time.

So, on Sunday night I decided that I would try running again. And, on Monday morning I woke at 5:45am to go for my first run. …And then again this morning.

(like I haven’t experienced in SO long!)

The sky was just beginning to brighten. The birds were chirping. The cement was damp from the dew. The air was crisp, clean and wonderfully breathable. No one was around – sure, I saw cars, and I am guessing that people were driving them – but I didn’t pass a soul on the sidewalk and I heard no words spoken. It was just me, my running shoes, and the beginning of a new day!

Oh, and there were bunnies.
Today was a three bunny run.
Yesterday six.


Jen said...

You can totally lose 40 lbs by August, it's all about making choices and small changes. You've already made a big change by running again. It might be hard to motivate yourself to do the run, or work out or to skip that cookie but doesn't it feel great when you do? That's the feeling you have to hang onto. You can do this!

Theta Mom said...

Thanks so much for visiting me on my SITS Day! I am finally getting the chance to meet and greet the fabulous ladies who showed some love for me. Following you and hope to see you at Theta Mom again! :)

Sarahviz said...

Good for you! I have been totally writing about running lately on my blog! Put up a running ticker on your sidebar - that will help keep you motivated!

Shannon said...

Keep it up! I'm also trying to get back into running. Love the solitude - so hard to get that as a Mom.

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