This mom's purposeful journey to rediscover herself
Sunday, March 28, 2010
House Projects and Me Projects.
So, as I write this, my husband is painting – our foyer, dining room, and hallway. I am so excited to see the color! (It’s called Ancestral Gold – but at times it looks a bit green). And I offered to help, but he said, “No Thanks”. He is a bit particular about how paint goes on the walls, and my abilities do not meet his standards, so far be from me to get in his way. So, because of the painting, I have been thinking about our house and the various projects that we want to do to improve our home. And, perhaps it is the paint fumes affecting my brain, but I really thought these house projects are just like the journey of life. I know, you are probably thinking… “Definitely paint fumes.” … but let me try to explain…
We bought our home five years ago. My husband and I love to do house projects – however at the time of purchase, we had a newborn, and had just finished gutting and redoing our condo. So we didn’t want a fixer-upper. This was wonderful home for us. It was move-in ready, but we also identified many improvements to make it more ours. So we bought it and moved in. We didn’t need to paint, or change the flooring, or buy a lot of new things. We had learned a lot from our previous home. Specifically, that what we thought we wanted when we moved in, was not necessarily what we liked after living there for a while. So we agreed that we would live in the home for one year before making any major changes. So after one year we decided to tackle a large project and redo a half bath (which we did almost entirely ourselves). Other projects followed. Some simple (like painting), some more complex (like replacing doors and removing closets), some that can’t be seen (like installing a tankless water heater, and new HVAC unit), and some necessary (like fixing a leaky roof). Each project took time, energy, and persistence. Is our house done? No way! There are many more projects slated – but, I know it will not happen overnight. I do have high hope that one day I will feel that the home is just as I would like it. But right now, it is a work in progress.
I too am a work in progress. And, just like our house…
I am wonderful, but there is a lot of room for improvements.
I have learned a lot from previous experiences.
I have come to realize that sometimes, who I think I want to be may change over time and often it is best not to make a change too quickly.
There are improvements to myself that I would like to make – some are simple, some are more complex, some most people won’t even notice, and still others are incredibly necessary.
Each of these changes will take time, focused energy, and persistence.
And I too have high hopes that one day (or at least that more days than not) I will feel that I am exactly who I want to be.
However, most of the time, I am patient with the house project process. I understand, that to do it “right” and have it the way I want it to be, it will take time. I also am very forgiving of circumstances that derail our progress and I understand that “shit happens”. But those mindsets, I have not applied to the development of me. Perhaps it’s high time I do!