As I write this I am not sure if I will post it…but the joy of a blog is that I can create my rant, and then choose to keep it, delete it or release it.
So yesterday, for an hour or two, I was a teary-eyed, emotional, angry raging mess. I was angry because unexpected roadblocks crashed down right in front of my progress. These roadblocks were not worthy of my tears or the expended energy… And, if I am honest, – there was no “crashing”, and really, the “roadblocks” were merely short detours. In fact, I was dealing with everyday inconveniences…Not that I recognized that in the moment. However, I did realize that I was overreacting but I didn’t understand why. So, I cried – sobbed even. As steam seeped out of my ears, I thought, “What the HELL is going on with me?” The emotions seemed to be in control of me. And, DAMNIT… While I am (and have always been) an emotional person, I understand the importance of and even the theory (Thank you, Chickering and higher ed. theories) about Managing Emotions. Furthermore, much of my adult life I have taken to heart what I have learned and feel INCREDIBLY inept (gold-star worthy, even) about appropriately dealing with and expressing my emotions. This did not feel like me.