The first one is about Mommy Guilt. What I found incredibly interesting was that, in the book, they compared how men and women experience guilt. They noted that dads don't seem to have the "guilt gene". And while they may occasionally have some guilt, it is not nearly as much as moms.
"Yes, a father who inadvertently whacks his daughter in the head while tossing around a baseball is going to feel guilty. But he's probably not going to question his choices. He won't take the accident as a referendum on whether he's a good father."
I read that, and realized something incredibly important - My husband does not understand the guilt that I feel and therefore may not understand some of my behaviors.
For instance, there are times when I feel guilty because as I am finishing a post on my blog, I hear my children arguing. I immediately think that, obviously (in my mind), they are fighting because they need to spend quality time with me *guilt*
All of this leads me to a type of paralyzed state. I am so overwhelmed by all that I have to do and, more importantly, by the guilt, that I don't know what to do. I don't know where to start and my emotions are ready to explode. I try to manage it. I know to tackle one thing at a time and just move forward. But, at times, I struggle, because all I want to do is escape. Escape from my feelings, the guilt, the preschool arguments, and the mundane tasks. And, when I have told (read: complained to) my husband about my day, he doesn't get it. He says, "just make a list and start getting things done."
AH HA Moment Alert!: After reading the guilt chapter in this book, I realized, he is not meaning to be SO damn condescending! He just has no clue. No experience with overwhelming guilt. So, he doesn't understand my paralysis. He is sincerely trying to be helpful. AH HA! I need to clue him in!
So I shared the quote with him and I explain how I feel, and you know what? I think he got it (at least a little).
I know that I need to work on my issues surrounding guilt, but having him hear me (I mean really hear me) and say, "I never realized you were feeling that"...Ahhhhh, that feels good.